I find that my most vulnerable time of the day is around 10:30 P, right after I've decided to quit studying for the night, and am just laying in bed, trying to figure out what to watch on Hulu. But the truth is, I have no expectations. For the first time, I have absolutely no expectations, no hopes, no desires. Just the knowledge that I will pass through this, and one day it will be part of my past. And as optimistic as it seems, I hope I can look back and not judge myself, but rather accept what happened and realize that I still have a lot of growing up to do. Three years ago, I decided that I needed to lead my life for myself, not for anyone else. And then I lost sight of that, miserably getting entrenched in something that overwhelmed my ego. Now I find that I'm rediscovering what it means to be me. I'm excited to see what this new year will bring.
and (completely unrelated)
I have the simultaneous desire to live on a farm AND NYC and play Scrabble in the evenings. Too bad a dog can't play Scrabble.
(this was a long "this is true")
