I am not confident enough in myself to trust my heart with you again. I remember at my last breakup, I thought constantly that we would get back together. But fortunately this time, I don't have that thought in the back of my head. Rather I know that it ended. The end, nothing further to think about.
I know I don't care about you anymore. And I would even tell you this, if I thought it would make a difference. But it won't, so I'll just keep it to myself. So, why then when I email you do I get a knot in my stomach when you reply. Maybe I am just amazed at how blind I was to your games. Because there is something. Something that makes me respond to your emails. Something that makes me write you emails. Something that pulls me still. And it isn't the hope of a friendship, the dream of marriage, the prospect of a future together. There is none of that. Maybe I'll figure it out. Or not.
