I've been thinking lately about moving from my apartment. I'll stay for a little bit after the program is over, and hopefully get a job, but I guess I'm not holding my breath for that.

And so one major issue comes up--how am I going to transport my mirror. I love it, and I don't want to part with it, but I guess it wasn't the smartest investment I made for a temporary housing situation. I guess, in fairness, I didn't think Baltimore was going to be as transient as it appears now to be.

It's 2010. Not only that, it's already the 3rd! Which only means one thing--I have school tomorrow. I think in August, I was really excited for school to start again, and I think somewhere inside, I'm excited to start. But I'm also thinking about how lonely it can get sometimes. I love the quiet in my apartment, so that's not the problem. I guess I'm just not thrilled about going back into robot-mode of school, homework, sleep.

In this past week, I have eaten out so much--way more than my stomach or wallet can handle. Places like Sorrella's (ginger blueberry hazelnut pancakes!), Antonio's, Aquitaine, Pho Basil, Cafe Mami, Cheesecake Factory; the list only continues. Which brings me to an important resolution for the new year--more consistent exercising! I have an opportunity to run the marathon in Frederick, MD on my birthday this year, and I'm still wavering if I want to/can make that kind of commitment. On the other hand, I'm resolving to do simple things like eating a serving of fruit a day.

Time to get ready to head back to Baltimore--to start the last really long semester (28 weeks) and find a job. Inside I'm really anxious and excited about where I'm going to be in 8 months. I'm not sure if there is a point in looking out west in Portland and Seattle. Even if I did find a job out there, would I really move out there?

Right now I actually want to lay in my bed and watch the Grinch Who Stole Christmas...

Me: do you take me seriously?

You: no, not really

Me: that's a shame

You: do you take me seriously?

Me: yes, of course-always

You: that's too bad

the fun never ends, I guess.

Four days between me and temporary freedom! It snowed today in Baltimore, which was actually sort of fun, once they started playing xmas songs in the cafe. If I had more money to spend/waste, I would definitely study a lot more at City Cafe. 1 hot chocolate, 1 order of meatless nachos, 1 hot chai latte with soy and side order of lobster mac and cheese later, I am back in my room trying to study for cardiodrugs. Despite the frustration of realizing my pharm teacher taught me absolutely nothing, and how freezing cold it was/is, not to mention that I spent more money today on food than I normally do in 1 week, it was a really fun day. It's nice to have friends in Baltimore!

Movie was a no-go but did attend a house party. Can it be true? Yes-my first house party in Baltimore! Unfortunately also found out that a neighbor down the street got her house broken in to, about a month ago! The black marks against Baltimore just got higher.

True to my resolution, I am eating much better this semester. For one thing, I'm actually buying vegetables on a regular basis. Dinner tonight consisted of tofu sausage with baby bellas. As a treat (I'm not sure for what), I'm enjoying some tart frozen yogurt with blueberry preserves.

Yesterday I bought a pair of sweatpants from the JHU bookstore, because it is definitely getting colder. They didn't have a change room so I had to come home to see if it would fit me. I'm not sure why the fashion may be this, but the sweatpants are only shin length. What gives?! How am I supposed to keep my legs warm when the pants don't even reach my ankles? How frustrating!

I don't really understand the point behind engagement photos, but Max Wagner's photos change my negative opinion of engagement photos. Once I'm done with nursing school, I'd like to re-enroll in some darkroom classes. Once I'm done with nursing school, I'd like to do A LOT of things. I think over the weekend I decided to pursue my Transitions clinical in Boston. Although I'm not crazy about returning to Boston, I'd like to be closer to my parents right now. Unfortunately we're not allowed to practice in New York as nursing students. BuMMer. I've heard it's much easier to get a job at JHH (but I'm sure since I just said that, I will have a horrible time finding a job at JHH) and getting some experience in Boston may help me get a job if I do decide to return to Boston next summer.

If I knew I was going to stay in Baltimore after this program ended, I would be more keen to get a cat/dog now. But I'm not sure where I'm going to be in 9 months, and I don't want apartment hunting to be complicated by having a pet. But I wish I had a dog or a cat right now.

:(

I realized today that I don't hate Baltimore. I really don't. In fact, I really like my daily routines here in Charles Village. HOWEVER, what I don't like is school.  Nursing school is great, and I love learning the things that I am learning. I guess what I don't like so much is being evaluated for everything I do. At work, I use to be great at what I did. I knew my job and I did it well, most days.  I feel like here, I'm barely getting by. I have to work so much harder, constantly studying the same things over and over, just to get to test day, terrified that I don't remember a thing. The stress of that is really getting to me.  

On another note, I went to the gym 5 times this week. I've realized that not only does it help me relieve some stress, it helps me get to sleep at night. It is no fun being wide awake at 1 AM, when you have to be up at 6 AM for clinical!

back to the grind: gym this morning, peanut butter and nutella sandwich for dinner.

the bad, first:
I have to put myself on a budget. No more soy chai's from Starbucks. No more frivolous spending. No more pretty Anthro dresses like this one.

the good:
I've done enough shopping (clothes, accessories, art) and eating out in the past year and half to satiate myself for the next year, I think, I hope.

the great:
I found an awesome apartment in Baltimore, hence my looming doom of budgeting for rent. But aside from that, I'm so excited to have my own little place to call home!

Baltimore was so much fun-much better than the last time back in September. I don't have any pictures to share, but among the fun things on the itinerary:

1. looking at apartments in Charles Village. I'm so glad I decided to look for apts here vs another area. I think I'll like it a lot!
2. having a beer, rosemary garlic fries and portobello mushrooms at Brewers Art
3. breakfast at Blue Moon Diner and Carma Cafe
4. attending the Accepted Student's Day-finally!
5. oysters, poutine and sticky toffee pudding at Woodberry Kitchen
6. getting my heels stuck on the brick cobblestones of Fells Point
7. dinner at PS7 in DC
8. dolphin show at the Aquarium
9. crabcakes and oysters at Faidley Seafood in Lexington Market
10. marshmallow donuts at Fenwick Bakery

I can't wait to go back and try out the things I didn't get to this time around. Among those: Jack's Bistro, Pitango, Koco's, Patisserie Poupon. (Of course, they are all food destinations)

Woah! There's a song titled "Good Morning, Baltimore"-from Hairspray, the musical.

Oh,Oh,Oh
Woke up today
feeling the way I always do
Oh,Oh,Oh
Hungry for something that I can't eat
Then I hear that beat
that rythem of town
starts hauling me down
It's like a message from high above
Oh,Oh,Oh
Pulling me out to the smiles and
streets that I love..

Good Morning Baltimore
Every days like an open door
Every nights like a fantacy
Every sounds like a symphony

Good Morning Baltimore
and some day when I take to the floor
The worlds gonna wake up and see
Baltimore and Me..

Oh,Oh,Oh
look at my hair what you can compare
with mine today..
Oh,Oh,Oh
I got my hairspray and radio I'm ready
To GO
The rats on the street all dance around
my feet
They seem to say "Tracy it's up to you"
So,Oh,Oh
Don't hold me back cause today all my
dreams will come true.

Good Morning Baltimore
There's the flasher who lives next door
There's the bum on his bar room stool
They wish me luck on my way to school.

Good Morning Baltimore
and some day when I take to the floor
the worlds gonna wake up and see
Baltimore and Me

I know every step, I know every song
I know there's a place where I belong
You see all those party lights
shinning ahead, so someone invite
me before I drop dead
Encore:
Before she drops dead

So,Oh,Oh
Give me a chance cause when I start
to dance I'm a movie star
Oh,Oh,Oh
something inside of me makes me move
When I hear that groove

My mom tells me no
but my feet tell me go
It's like a drummer inside my heart

So,Oh,Oh
don't make me wait more moment
for my life to start..

Encore:
Good Morning
Good Morning
Don't make me wait for my life to start

I Love You Baltimore
Every days like an open door
Every night is a fantacy
Every sounds like a symphony
and I promise Baltimore
that some day when I take to the floor
The worlds gonna wake up and see
gonna wake up and see

Baltimore and me!
Baltimore and me!
Baltimore and me!